He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
