do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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