I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
