Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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