I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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