i may or may not be watching the land before time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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