Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Less talking, more tequila
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize