FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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