does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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