Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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