You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
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he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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