you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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