My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
