I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
