Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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