I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize