I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
