when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
