Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
