well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
