I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
