I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
