hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize