I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize