shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How does it feel to date your dad?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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