you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize