He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
