Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
