my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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