He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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