i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
