You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
