you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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