That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
