Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
