Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
