4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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