And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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