I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
