I miss vodka workout Fridays
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
