I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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