return my video game
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
