somebody snuck up and got me drunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
