a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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