Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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