He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you inspire me to be a worse person
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
