it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
