She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
