idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
