Me too!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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