she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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