Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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