sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
