I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
