Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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