Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
