They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
