i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
