we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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