My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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