My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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