Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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