no, he came in my armpit
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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