so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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