can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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