1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and i looked up. we had an audience...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
