I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
