I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
